11 Months and Counting (sadly)

In 31 short days my baby is going to turn 1 ugh I am going to miss my baby although he will still be my baby as will his sister it has seemed like this baby stage has flown by which is sad it has gone to quickly. Just thought I would share with you the 11 months photo taken last night at Applebees.

A picture for the memory books...

I can't find or didn't take any photos of Owen and my grandma Lola. So I refused to let that happen with my other grandma and again I either can't find or didn't take any of him with her up to this point either I am thinking I just can't find them but I have looked everywhere. To fix this issue I have on her birthday last week we made an impromptu trip to see her and did just that took some photos. Of course Owen and Maggie were crabby and we were inside and it was on manual mode so I dind't have to mess with lighting but I got photos none the less.

sleepy boy

He was so tired he fell asleep in the swing poor little guy but if someone pushed me in a swing that I didn't have to hold onto I think I would fall asleep too!!

Unanswered Questions

I still have some many questions unanswered I doubt they will ever be answered but to put them out there maybe someday they will be…
Why did you leave me?
Why did I let them take you from me?
I know you were ready but I was not why did you have to go?
Why do I dream of you so often?
Are you trying to tell me something?
Did you know that day that we took you, you weren’t coming home?
Why did I stop at the store?
Or Come back to work to drop off a bid wasting my few precious hours left with you?
Why did I leave you that night?
Will I ever get the nerve to have my discussion with your doctor?
Why did I give you the contrast when I was second guessing it the entire time?
Would you still be here? Would you have made it to Owen’s 1st Birthday?
Should I have taken you sooner?
Why didn’t the office do a urine sample when we were there in January?
Would they have caught the UTI why didn’t I know you had pneumonia?
What went wrong and why couldn’t I fix it?
I doubt these will ever get answered but on her birthday today I think of her and wonder WHY.
My heart aches for you to come back.
I love you Grandma and miss you terribly Happy 1st Birthday in heaven.